This Season of Life

I breastfed Emma for nearly two years, and it was one of the hardest but best things I did as a mother. We had many struggles early on, and pushed through to have a really wonderful breastfeeding relationship and journey. Those struggles and the following joys of nursing actually inspired me to become a CLEC - certified lactation educator and counselor. This time around, I felt more prepared to breastfeed Audrey, but even so, there have been hurdles. We are pushing through though, and we will see how long breastfeeding works for both Audrey and myself. I compiled my breastfeeding must-haves for you today!

Lansinoh Nursing Pads

These are my favorite disposable nursing pads. Disposable pads are a necessity for me, as the washable ones do not absorb enough for me. In the far later months of nursing, I am able to use the washable ones, but for now - disposable it is, and this mama goes through these like crazy. Note: the last time I needed to buy these, Amazon did not seem to have any available for Prime shipping, so I bought these, but I have yet to try them.

Double Electric Breast Pump

This is a necessity for me because pumping is a part of my breastfeeding journey. Both when I return to work, but also before, as I like to establish a frozen stash of milk. Even without establishing a stash of milk, some kind of pump is almost required if you'd like to give your baby bottles (I suppose you could hand express for bottles but my hand hurts just thinking of that much hand expression). I am currently using a Spectra S2, which is available at a fantastic price via Amazon. If you are pregnant and would like to nurse, please check with your insurance company before purchasing a pump, because almost all plans cover them, so you can receive a breast pump free! For those that do not need to pump as much, or in addition to double electric pumps, these silicone hands-free pumps are raved about in the breastfeeding and lactation community. I'll be honest and say it hasn't been awesome for myself (I don't think they are the best for larger chested women), but it might be awesome for you!

Nipple Butter or Cream

I have had great luck with everything I have used for this - the idea is moist healing. Keeping your nipples lubricated will promote the best healing, and therefore the least pain for you as a nursing mama! I have tried this in past, and am currently using this. Lanolin is very popular, but I found it a bit too thick and sticky. Coconut oil is also very popular, but I have yet to try it myself.

Burp Cloths

I actually use Gerber cloth diaper prefolds and they are so absorbent. I own one legit marketed burp cloth and ironically it is my least favorite. Like, it's the last one used when it's been way too long since we've done laundry (so all the time). We are still using the same set of Gerber refolds that I purchased over three years ago when I was pregnant with Emma, and they have held up so amazingly. My mom and I actually sewed pretty fabric on a handful of them years ago for decoration, but to be honest I prefer the completely plain ones, as the decorated ones are not as absorbent.

Blankets

I love to use muslin swaddle blankets as nursing covers - I don't actually own a legit nursing cover. I also use swaddle or receiving blankets during the engorgement OMG THERE IS SO MUCH MILK phase to keep between baby and myself to protect my clothes and/or baby's clothes. As I discussed in my baby must-haves post, I also use swaddle and receiving blankets as incredibly ineffective burp cloths when I have none available (likely because they are all dirty, see above re: always being behind on laundry).

Water Bottle or Tumbler with a Straw

I have many tumblers and and water bottles that I use, but the ones I use most frequently were actually given to me in the hospital while giving birth. They are very very large, and I actually keep two filled on my nightstand at night, because when the clock hits 10pm, I turn into a camel. I think I drink more overnight than I do the majority of the day. Funny story about the hospital water cups - I was given one when I had Emma, and I used it nearly every night after coming home. Like, every night for three years. Shane was always jealous of it, because it's so big, has a straw and a handle, and it's just a really great water cup (how #marriage is this story of my husband being jealous of a water cup by the way). So, when we were in the hospital having Audrey, Shane made friends with one of our pre-op nursing telling her how much he hoped we could get an extra water cup this time around, and this was the nurse to befriend because what do you know - we left the hospital with a total of four hospital tumblers. If your hospital isn't as generous as ours (bummer for you), you can find a cute large tumbler on Amazon (what can't you find on Amazon?).

Nursing Bras

The BEST ever comfy nursing bras are from Cake Lingerie, and I wore them even between pregnancies/nursing. They are supportive enough, and so comfortable. I also have a few sleep bras from Target but hardly reach for them because they are not quite supportive enough for me. I am currently looking for a molded cup, supportive, likely underwire (though the use of underwire while lactating is not for everyone) nursing bra - do you have one you love?

Nursing Tanks

I have so many nursing tanks in so many brands. A handful of them were a very generous gift from a very generous friend (thank you, Melissa!). I basically live in nursing tanks for months after having a baby, and even down the line, they are wonderful for layering and nursing in public with the two-third method (if you are nursing and haven't heard of this, do yourself a favor and google it now). Target ones are good (I have many of these, one of these, and a couple of these - all of which I wear for different occasions/needs). I also love these slimming ones from Amazon for under tops or around the house - they are very supportive and come with removable pads for more structure if you're into that kinda thang.

Boppy

I cannot live without this for the first few months of nursing. I actually made sure I had two for our new house, so I could have one in bedroom and one in living room. When baby gets older, this becomes less necessary, but for little tiny babies, a Boppy or other breastfeeding positional pillow is a must for me. You can get yourself super cute covers from Etsy, and Boppy makes some cute ones themselves. I actually have just the plain white waterproof one on one of my boppys because this mama is cheap AF (do I sound hip when I say "AF"?).

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What's new? Audrey is smiling at us on purpose (a lot!), and really starting to stare at toys that hang on her activity gym.

Stats: Audrey is hanging out right on track on her growth curve. She weighs 11 lb, 2 1/2 ounces; and is 22 3/4 inches long. She weighs less than her big sister did at two months, which I think is funny since she was born two pounds heavier!

Hair: Audrey's hair is very dark brown, quite long (she has a bit of a mullet), and curly when it gets wet or damp. I swear I can see a hint of red under the brown, so I am not convinced she is a brunette for life just yet!

Eyes: They are a very pretty brown with kind of a green undertone.

Clothes: Audrey is in all 3-month clothes. She was only in newborn clothes for about six weeks. I am having a lot of nostalgia going through her clothes, as 99% of them were Emma's. I especially like dressing her in the same outfits Emma wore three years on the same occasions - like the birth Emma wore on my birthday, and the outfit she wore on St. Patrick's Day.

Sleep: We are enjoying a nice long stretch of sleep at the beginning of the night, but often times it takes a lot of work (thank you, Shane, for being the one to rock this little one to sleep almost every night!) to get her there. Once down, she will usually sleep for 4-5 hours, which is great. Most nights I am still going to sleep right when she does, or even before while Shane gets her down, which has me feeling pretty rested. After her first stretch, sleep for the rest of the night/morning is hit or miss, but pretty great most nights. Sadly, if she is anything like her older sister (she is very much like her so far), this sleep pattern won't last long - only time will tell! Daytime sleep depends on the days - sometimes she still sleeps practically all day, and sometimes she will fight sleep almost all day long.

Feeding: Audrey eats anywhere from every 2-4 hours throughout the day, and once or twice overnight. We had to use a nipple shield for a few weeks around the clock, and are still using it overnight. I have an overactive letdown and oversupply, which is the worst overnight and early morning, so the nipple shield is less for latching and more to manage the flow for her and not get her worked up in the middle of the night. Audrey is fussy when eating often, and has a hard time staying latched. I have to use both hands during most feedings which is very frustrating. I will continue to work with her on her latch, but I am much more confident this time (having been here before) that breastfeeding will improve with time almost as much as anything else.

Likes: Ceiling fans of all kinds, smiling at just about anyone, looking at

Big Sister Emma

Dislikes: The hours from 8-11pm generally

Mama Update: I am feeling much more settled, and so much more confident in general as a second time mom. I still get very anxious when I have both girls alone for an extended period (Emma's childcare has remained the same for consistency and my sanity) - I really don't know how stay-at-home moms of multiple children do it! I am struggling to find the time in the day to feed the baby, do the laundry, get any grocery shopping/cooking done, clean the house, engage with Emma, and you know, breathe. I feel overwhelmed most days, which worries me for when I go back to work, as the hours in the day will compress even more.

Mommy Calls Audrey: Audrella, Little Sister, Cunkamunk, Goog-larones

Daddy Calls Audrey: Pop Lobster, Audrey Belle

Emma Calls Audrey: Auuuudrey, Baby Sister, Baby Girl

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Dear Friend,

Well, you're officially more pregnant than I've ever been - a trophy I'm certain you weren't dying to win. But here you are - days away from meeting your little Peanut, and I couldn't be more excited for you.

No one can prepare you for what is to come. Everyone says that, and you're like "yeah yeah", but I'm serious. No one can possibly prepare for you for the next days, weeks, months, even years of your life and all the love, joy, stress, exhaustion, laughs, happiness, guilt, anger, pride and straight up madness about to smack you right in the face.

First, you'll give birth. Oh, birth can go so many ways. Maybe you have a plan and things will go perfect (you lucky bitch). The more likely scenario, however, is that something, even if it's something minor, will go a different way than planned. But the fact of the matter is, every birth is an accomplishment. Doesn't matter if you go med-free, if you deliver vaginally or via c-section, or the baby burst out of your damn ears (I mean, that would be insanely impressive) - every mother deserves to be told "You are amazing and you did such a good job".

Your baby, your new son, will make your heart burst wide open. He will make you love someone more than you ever thought possible, and it will forever change you. Just be prepared - it might not happen the very moment you see him. Sure, that moment will be amazing regardless, but the time to come - that's the real beginning of you and your baby's love story. You'll grow and learn with another and when you think your whole heart is consumed with love for your child, your heart will somehow expand to love him even more. And this will happen over, and over, and over again.

Things at home with baby will be harder than you imagined. I guarantee it. I tend to imagine the worst possible scenario, and things were harder than even I imagined. But it will be worth it, it will get easier, amnesia will hit you at some point, and you might even consider hopping on the crazy train again and growing your family by another little one.

Feeding a baby is hard. It's hard if you have to buy and prepare formula, try different brands that work for your baby, wash bottles, and always ensure you have enough formula on you when you leave the house. It's hard if you have to learn - along with a brand new baby - how to latch a newborn, care for sore and cracked nipples, pump and store breastmilk, and feel forever attached to a baby's mouth. It's hard either way, and neither is the wrong choice. Know that I am here, and I will support you no matter what you choose.

You might struggle with your relationship with your husband. Hell, you might struggle with your relationship with everyone, but that one, that sacred relationship, goes through a damn battlefield during these newborn stages. Sleep deprivation does a number on your sanity, and your patience, and quite frankly - your marriage. Remember that you married this man for a reason, and that after the storm has passed, he is the one you want to be looking at the rainbow with. Soak in the little moments you can enjoy just the two of you, even if it's late at night, whispering while you listen to white noise with your baby asleep three feet away. Find the time for date nights, and leave your baby overnight before 21 months (trust me on that one).

Becoming a mother changes you, and after the hormonal rush that is the postpartum weeks, you'll begin to feel like yourself, but different. Be prepared because when you least expect it, you might miss the old you. You might miss the you that you were before this little person. Even now, three years into my motherhood journey, every so often I get a wave of nostalgia of the life I once had. It doesn't mean I don't love my girls with everything I have, but there is a me that's gone - the Me Before Them. The new you will have more love, more laughs, and undoubtably more laundry.

I hope our children grow up together. I hope they are like cousins more than friends, celebrating holidays and birthdays as the years go by. I will love your children like I love you - a lot. I am here if you want advice, even if you don't take it. I am here if you want to vent, and I promise to not bring up the really dark things ever again unless you do. I am here if you need to say out loud "I just really hate life right now", and I am here if you need someone to show the 47th picture you took of your child that day.

Love Always,

Your Best Friend

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